did i ever make it through?

well, forces converged and planets aligned and people came thorough for us so that we were able to go to the green day show! dorian still had to handle the remote at ASU but he would be right around the corner so we hoped he wouldnt miss much besides franz ferdinand.

and, little storm cloud that i am, as soon as i knew i wouldnt be missing the show i immidiatly went back to complaining about how bad our seats were. and they were bad.

seats, to begin with, are always bad if you have intentions of getting your socks rocked off. and i did. our seats in particular were worse because they were total nose bleeds. we were stuck sitting with all the people who want to, you know... sit.

we sat all through franz ferdinand. it feels weird, sitting, when you know you aught not to be. it feels wrong. but we sat through their set, not wanting to be rude to the 8 rows of people directly behind us who, im sure, would consider us to be better doors than windows.

then a surprisingly quick turn around between bands. then drunk bunny. then green day.

they came out and kicked off with 21st century brakedown.
maybe its just me, after all i am a super fan, but when i see those boys in real life, no matter how far away they are, i HAVE to stand up. i have to hop up and down and clap like an idiot. its a compulsion... i literally vibrate with joy. wich is a questionable thing to do when standing on the edge of a balcony. and even more questionable when all the a-holes surrounding you DONT stand up to rock out with you. they sat. they stayed seated. they didnt stir. they didnt budge. it was shocking to me. who were these people???
i was lucky to not have to make the choice to either stand up and piss everyone off or have to sit down and suffer because i was right on the end and i could just stand off to the side and bother no one- the only standing girl on the top top level.

when the first song finished billie joe yelled at everyone to stand up and after that i felt vindicated to stand up where ever i wanted, in front of anyone dumb enough to sit. billie joe got out there in the crowd, for reals. and i think that everyone in the place got to come up on stage and hug him... everyone but me. i soothed myself with memories of the hot tubs and kept telling myself that no one should be allowed to embrace the man more than once... and i have already had that priveledge.
but then again, i think thats total bullshit and i would prefer to get to touch him many many more times should that ever be possible. which it isnt from the top of the back of the arena. like i said, i want everyone to miss out on what i miss out on.

i had a great time but the crowd seemed to be a little lethargic. having a birds eye view of the entire place i was frusterated by how few people there were on the floor and how little they seemed to be moving. where as i, a million miles away, almost fell off the balcony more than once.

dorian showed up just as they played 2000 light years away and she, two of our favorites that don't get played very often.
they played the judge's daughter... that i have NEVER heard live before and probably never will again. wow.
the a-holes who surrounded us sat their asses down through that section and didn't get back up till 21 guns. bunch of a-holes.
they killed jesus of suburbia in the encore and closed the show with mr. armstrong, on his own, as they did on the last tour, but instead of playing good riddance he played last night on earth. THEN he finished with good riddance.

sigh.
dear green day, please come back to phoenix again on this tour. i have learned my lesson and i will never sit that far away from you again.

k.
with every breath that i am worth here on earth
im sending all my love to you.

kicking myself.

i didnt check my email at all on saturday. when i finally logged in this morning, there was a message from the green day fan club.... they were giving tickets away to the show! free tickets that were SO MUCH BETTER THAN MINE!

and i missed it. and i could have been THERE in the FRONT where i want to be. and i missed. it.

k.
while your ship is going down
ill go out and paint the town.

almost only ever really counts in horseshoes & handgrenades

not letting it go.
new album. new tour. a long time since the last time.
already ive had it out with dorian about the shittiness of our tickets to the upcoming show, and now it seems like i might not even get to go.

Missing out isn’t really the same when you have a favorite band. For example, modest mouse played here recently and I wasn’t able to go. I got over it. I mean, they’re only my number four favorite band anyway and I have seen them live before at least once... you couldn’t keep me out of there if I had any money but im broke as shit so, life goes on.

The pixies are playing next month. That stings. The pixies are my number 3 favorite band. But I console myself that I have seen them 3 times before, a lot when you consider that in 1994 I thought I would never get the chance. But, going to see the pixies costs money and, as it is, I cant even afford the service fee.

But what were talking about there is #3 and #4. And perhaps that isn’t even correct. It might be more accurate to call the pixies and modest mouse my #5 and #6 favorite bands because green day would be #1 and #2, and Foxboro hot tubs would be #3 and my mystery other favorite band (the foo fighters) would provide the needed buffer between billie joe and all others.

I don’t know if very many people have a #1 favorite band. Or if they have a #1 favoite band that could reasonably be counted as 3 bands in a 1-5 band love scale… and if they do I wonder if they have the tattoos to back that up. And then I wonder if they have more than one. What im trying to say is, its not as though I just like green day or even just love green day… green day is MY band. Which is not to say that I own them but more like saying they own me. that’s my band. Their music has reached so far into so much of me that I cant separate it from, say, fond childhood memories or creepy emotional scars…

Ive seen them live maybe 15 times. It doesn’t lessen the blow of missing them on the 21st century breakdown tour. Not at all. In fact, it makes it worse. I feel like im getting robbed of something I deserve… the chance to see my band play songs I havent heard live before. The chance to speculate if they will play my favorite song from the new album, unlikely since I always love the ones that don’t make it on the radio, but I still get that burn of excitement that they MIGHT play restless heart syndrome or horseshoes and handgrenades.
it stings because i wont get to see it to know for sure. and even more because.... everyone else will! im not one of those people who want other people to experience the joys they miss out on. i want everyone to miss out on what i miss out on.

do you want to elope tonight?

Sunday, June 1, 2008
best day ever.
me and the reverend strichnine twitch.

foxboro hot tubs has alot of the same band members as the network. the network has alot of the same band members as green day. that used to be more of a secret.

dorian and i went to see the foxboro hot tubs... and it was pretty much the best thing ever because it climaxed in the fulfilment of one of my life long dreams... to touch, smell and talk to billie joe armstrong.

it was kind of an all day thing.

the internets told us that lining up wouldnt be allowed before noon, tickets would go on sale at 3 but you wouldnt get a ticket, youd leave your name at will call and then the only way youd get in would be to show a matching ID at 7pm. all so that no one would be able to scalp the tickets.
well, suspicious and untrusting shrew that i am, i insisted that we cruise by around 11 to see if anyone was waiting in their cars nearby or something.sure enough, when we got there about 60 people were already in line.
after we had waited with them for about an hour a little man came out and said that tickets wouldnt be sold in advance at all and we would have to wait there, in the parking lot, until 7pm.

i blame the edge 103.9 for advertising the show on the radio as a green day concert. fuckers. the reason that things like a tiny foxboro hot tubs show with limited tickets and only shady ways to get them EXIST is so that actual real life fans who are willing to do the leg work and KNOW about the foxboro hot tubs will be rewarded. in point of fact, isnt that why the fucking foxboro hot tubs exist at all? so that green day fans can go see green day someplace other than the home depot center?i think so.leave it to the edge 103.9, that only plays music that came out while i was still in high school, to not get that and ruin it for all of us.

we werent planning on being there all day, so i had to make a trip home to change into my actual concert clothes and put on my night time face and i brought back books for me and dorian to read for seven and one half hours... in the sun.

around 1pm the little man came out and explained to us that we were a line "community" and that we were in charge of getting to know one another to ensure that no one cut in line.
obviously i balked at the idea of getting to know my line mates and scoffed at the little man. what a douche.
leave it to dorian to take that idea to heart and, indeed, make friends with our line mates while i was in the ladies room. turned out not to be all bad though. our new friend's kids watched our stuff and saved our place while we went to alice cooperstown and had a couple of beers. yes. we made friends with the line mothers. but... i got out of the line for an hour and got a head start on my drinking... i suppose thats worth aknowledging my advanced age and the fact that i am, in fact, a line mother. at least i was in good company. that will teach me to mock the idea of "community"

no it wont.

so, after about a million years of waiting and sunburning, we finally got in to the show. and we got a pretty decent spot, right against the barricade of tables that keep the nice clean ten year olds away from the dirty drinkers. still, the opening band didnt go on until 9:30. and they blew ass. girls with guns. it probably would have been better if they had some guns. all i know is that there were technical dificulties and that didnt do anything to make them worse.

but then, around 10:30, after 11 hours of waiting, the foxboro hot tubs came on. yowza.it was my boys, dressed up in 60s polka dots and big glasses and fur coats. the foxboro hot tubs album is fantastic. its as good as old green day. and its really great live. they have absurd energy. it was easily one of the best shows ive ever been to...and then i thought to myself, did i wait for nearly 8 hours in the sun to stand behind some tables while dozens of 11 year olds jump up on stage and molest my boyfriend? no, sir. i did not.

so... i wiggled my way up to the front of the stage while they played the last song before the encore. surprisingly not hard to do. probably because i was bigger and more agressive than the rest of the kids out there who were, lets say, at least 10 years younger than me. im being conservative. anyway. by the time they came out for the encore i was one persons width away from the stage.

they came back out and played red tide.
backstory: i have a tendency to like the songs that never get played live. if i had to pick my favorite green day song, i dont think i could. theres just too many. but roshambo, the network song, is easily one of my top 3 favorie songs. and red tide, the foxboro hot tubs song, is also easily in my top 3. i dont know which one is 2 or which is 3, and i have no idea what i would consider 1... but the price i pay for liking the slow songs is that you never get to hear them for real.
i got lucky enough to see mr. armstrong, fink- that night, play roshambo from about 10 yards away 3 years ago. and i thought that was as good as it would get.

and so last night, mr. armstrong, the reverend strichnine twitch, came out onstage and played red tide.
he was right in front of me. no barricade between the stage and the audience, he was easily within my reach. and so, i reached. and the man of my dirty dreams reached back and held my hand. best thing ever, right?

i thought so too.

and then foxoboro hot tubs started to play sally and about a hundred people rushed onstage. being only one row of humans back, i got swept up in the tide and ended up onstage, right behind billie joe armstrong. and then billie joe turned around. turned around. with his back to the crowd and his front to me---and I HUGGED BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG. we embraced. EMBRACED. one of my arms around his shoulders and one around his waist. one of his around my waist and the other still holding the mic to facilitate the rocking of our socks off.

yes, friends, we- that is, billie joe armstrong and i- shared a moment. yes, shared. and ben affleck can blow me, because he has no idea what sharing a moment means... it didnt exist before last night.
in case you were curious, as i have always been, about mr. armstrong... he is just about as tall as me. seriously, shorter than dorian. and im totally fine with that. for the record. he also smells wonderful even when he smells bad and is every inch as fucking hot in real life and up close.

and like i said, his arms were around me and mine were around him and we jumped and jumped while he sang like a rock star (
just so you know.
and that lasted at least 15 seconds.
and then more and more people came up and knocked me down. but my friend billie joe picked me up. and then he asked me if i was ok. and i said that i was. and by then the song was over, and set me on my feet and dissapeared.

k.