nice ink.

nice ink

So I don’t know if you have tattoos or not, but I have tattoos.
And peole are constantly asking me what they mean.
The two tattoos that are most visible are my warhing lable and my heart/hand grenade. Both kind of aggressive symbols. Both kind of vaguely insinuating that I am dangerous… I am not.
I am, relatively speaking, about as dangerous as a kitten. And if you don’t think that’s dangerous, talk to someone with allergies.
That’s me.
Mildly irritating to people with a genetic predisposition. Grrr! Watch out!

So I don’t really have any explaination for the warning lable, except that it looks cool and it’s a slightly obscure homage to green day.
If I wanted to get all philosophical and deep about it might tell you that it’s a warning lable that, like the song suggest, reminds one to live without warning and not waste time worrying about all the things in the world that can hurt you. Because worrying is like a rocking chair, it give you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere. (write that down)
but I wont say that, because it sounds stupid.

Now my heart/handgrenade… what do I say about that?
It looks cool. Another, slightly less obscure homage to green day.
But it’s a heart. And it’s a hand grenade. Its hard to escape the symbolism.
rage and love. story of my life.

k.

are we, we are, the waiting. unknown.

my shallow heart.

Sunday, November 21, 2004
my shallow heart.
i beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies. this is the dawning of the rest of our lives on holiday.

just got home from the green day show. it blew my fucking mind.
they always blow my mind. with a consistancy.

we were down in the shit throwing elbows and gettin hit in the face and smelling the wonderful smells of the surging crowd. a little wiff of weed. an opressive fog of body odor.

i want to be billy joe armstrong. i want to fuck him also, yes. i want to fuck him till my teeth bleed (as my good friend ricky would say), but i also long to be him.
i want to wear tight pants and hardcore belts and a tie and i want to fucking rock that baby blue guitar and i will even take the fucked up snaggle tooth.
and if i cant BE him or DO him then i want to dress dorian up like him and pretend.
its easy enough to do.
when he shoves his hands down his pants and makes orgasim noises, my knees give out. and when he screams "somebody fuck me" i thrust my tatted up fist into the air and volunteer, like everyone else.
i think dorian may have raised his hand too.

and then, way too soon, im walking to the car with my ears ringing.

k.

are you locked up in a world that been planned out for you?
and are you feeling like a social tool without a use?
scream at me untill my ears bleed.
im taking heed just for you.

shes a red bull

Sunday, December 12, 2004
shes a red bull...
so.the thing about me is that i get obsessed so easily and so often. and you should know this by now.
its true that the obsessions shift from season to season
when i finally get to go to disneyland, i will immidiatly be re-obsessed with nightmare. and legitimately so, i feel. its an imaginary world that i would desperatly love to be animated into. and, from october thruu january, it sets up temporary shop in the fakest happy place on earth.

then, when the new harry potter book comes out, there will be that. and that will last thru the first four readings and subsequent discussions.

every sunday night its the simpsons.
and now, since september, its been green day.

its lame, maybe, to be obsessed with a band. but i just cant help it. its hard for me to like things a little bit. if i like something, i want to wrap it around me like a good hooded sweatshirt. i want to pitch it like a tent and live in it out on the front lawn. its just how i roll.

and green day has seen me through some hard times. dookie, kerplunk and 1039 were the soundtrack to me giving up popularity and athleticism for cigarettes, alcohol, hair dye and an attitude problem. viva 1994.
insomniac is my go to "angry" album.
nimrod provided all of us with "time of your life", the song that would become my generations "turning point" anthem, which will continue to be played at all of our graduations/weddings/funerals.
warning was the soundtrack to me growing up and getting my shit together.
and now, american idiot is the sound track to me getting sick of growing up and wanting to set fire to all the shit that i have gotten together.

anyway, ive been noticing that all i do lately on this myspace account is make references to american idiot. therefore, whoever can count em up and get the right answer wins a pencil topper.

k.

shes a rebel, shes a saint
shes the salt of the earth
and shes dangerous.

ode to billie joe.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005
ode to billie joe.
theres this channel called fuse. i dont know what it is or where it came from, but it keeps playing shows about green day.
i like shows about green day.
or articles about green day.
or trading cards. or bookmarks. really, anything that has billie joe armstrongs picture on it, i like.
hes really the sexiest man ive ever seen. and that includes brad pitt. even when you can see brad pitts ass, billie joe is sexier. i really think hes completely responsable for my continued interest in men.
if your thinking of what to get me for my birthday...
just get me twenty minutes with billie joe armstrong. thats all i need.
billie joe armstrong. and maybe a new car.
billie joe armstrong and a new car and thats all i need.
and a plasma screen tv.
billie joe armstrong and a new car and a plasma tv and thats it, i'll be set for life. i'll never ask for anything again.
except maybe some bath salts.

k.

give me something to do to kill some time
take me to that place that i call home.

what a way to go.

Sunday, May 15, 2005
what a way to go.
mary has a friend who works for dick dale.
this friend had dick dale call mary and play misirlou on her voicemail. the whole thing. ive heard it.
why is that the coolest fucking thing ive ever heard of? because the friend had to be cool enough to ASK. and then dick dale had to be cool enough to do it. and they both turned out to be cool enough, and what are the odds of that?
this friends name is evan, and i dont know him, but he deserves his credit... evan, you kick ass

.mary had a friend who worked on the green day holiday video. she gave him my number and told him to have billie joe call me. he didnt. and i have to assume that it is because her friend wasnt cool enough to ask him to.
but, its probably for the best that billie joe armstrong didnt call me, because i would die. its true. i would die. i would need to say something to him and i would also not be able to say anything to him. these conflicting needs, coupled with the orgasm i would be having, would make my brain jump out of my head like pop tarts.
still. thats exactly how i would want to die...
if i got to choose.
and... if 'eaten by bears' wasnt an option.

k.

p.s. to clarify the whole 'eaten by bears' thing... i want the bears to kill me first... painlessly... maybe by cuddling me to death... and THEN they can eat me. and when you all talk about it, like i know you will, you must say "well, its exactly how she would have wanted to go."ok? good.