my shallow heart.

Sunday, November 21, 2004
my shallow heart.
i beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies. this is the dawning of the rest of our lives on holiday.

just got home from the green day show. it blew my fucking mind.
they always blow my mind. with a consistancy.

we were down in the shit throwing elbows and gettin hit in the face and smelling the wonderful smells of the surging crowd. a little wiff of weed. an opressive fog of body odor.

i want to be billy joe armstrong. i want to fuck him also, yes. i want to fuck him till my teeth bleed (as my good friend ricky would say), but i also long to be him.
i want to wear tight pants and hardcore belts and a tie and i want to fucking rock that baby blue guitar and i will even take the fucked up snaggle tooth.
and if i cant BE him or DO him then i want to dress dorian up like him and pretend.
its easy enough to do.
when he shoves his hands down his pants and makes orgasim noises, my knees give out. and when he screams "somebody fuck me" i thrust my tatted up fist into the air and volunteer, like everyone else.
i think dorian may have raised his hand too.

and then, way too soon, im walking to the car with my ears ringing.

k.

are you locked up in a world that been planned out for you?
and are you feeling like a social tool without a use?
scream at me untill my ears bleed.
im taking heed just for you.